You Break, You Pay

Crankenstein and I were perusing desserts on our most recent jaunt to an Asian supermarket when she plucked a box of wife cakes from the shelf and mused “I might start calling you this.” We deliberately avoided the turtle tanks, lest I have a turtle nightmare — a nod to one of the more infamous moments of my early childhood. At the age of three or four I woke up in a terror, insisting to my mom that there was a lobster in my bed.

She put on a big show of investigating to put me at ease, but that was about as worked up as I ever got as a kid and she teases me about it to this day. The lobsters at the supermarket unnerved me then and for years afterward; I wanted to liberate them so they wouldn’t be killed. Crankenstein suspects I was on prednisone at the time and the lobster’s visit was more of a steroid-induced hallucination than a bad dream, but my parents and I aren’t sure of the timeline.

My favorite feature of this particular Asian market is the hostile signage in several aisles warning that if your sorry ass breaks anything, you’re damn well paying for it. The signs come in a variety of styles and are placed aggressively close to each other, and if I worked there I’d rig some of those barking dog security devices to excessively growl as patrons approach the shelves. Or maybe scribble an additional sign threatening to have Liam Neeson hunt and kill your whole family if you break something.

This also applies to marriage.

Since I have nothing interesting to share here tonight, other than my dad’s appointment with the surgical oncologist is slated for next Monday, I’ll show a bit of what I’ve been up to lately. First up was completion of a $5 paintbrush organizer kit. It arrived as a stack of thin unfinished wood pieces that I sanded, pre-stained, stained, sealed and assembled. I wouldn’t pay any more for it than that since its durability is questionable, but I’m pleased with it so far. Incidentally, my brushes are among the cheapest from Dick Blick’s and hobby shops and I’ve had decent luck with them so far, even the $2.50 set of fine detail brushes.

Next up are pieces for a 1:48 scale convenience store and bar, respectively. I’m still working on the bar and if you zoom in you might be able to see that it’s fully stocked. Whether I’ll be able to paint all the teeny-tiny bottles is anyone’s guess, but Crankenstein will if I can’t. The backboard will either be tiled or I’ll hang photos and branding on it. I wanted the stools to look worn and might use a black wash to enhance the grime.

The figures are from a whole bag of ’em, generics for use in dioramas and train setups, and if the sizing looks off to you it’s because they’re 1:24 scale and Pete’s boat is 1:48.* Prior to painting I’ll need to sand the little printing nubs off their heads. In the background are an unpainted 1:48 horse (for which Pete’s partner invented a ridiculous name) and 1:48 diner booths. I’m undecided on whether to go for the sleek red ’50s look with the booths or something more contemporary and appropriately battered.

Here’s a better look at the kitchen set lurking in the background. It’s something I purchased from a Canadian miniature artist for the lighthouse and I’m pleased to have found it because she does great work in a size (1:24) with few options. If there’s space for a dining area, I’ll probably make it myself from a kit or buy unpainted resins. That’s what I wanted to do for the appliances, too, had I discovered any in the right size and style.

Next up, a knockoff LEGO set with a cute gimmick: there’s a compartment where you can insert your iPad or other tablet, which allows you to ‘watch’ your TV. I stacked a couple of coupons to get this for around $45 thinking it might make an interesting display for a diorama if it turns out nicely. The quality of off-brand LEGO varies and it’s possible this was a bad buy. I’ll report back once the TV is finished.

Construction is also underway on a dock for Pete’s boat. I think it would be funny to recreate a Querelle scene there but the captain’s more likely to read Genet than reenact it.

* You can get the same figures in 1:48, which I’ll tackle once I’m comfortable with the 1:24s. I pulled those three from the bag at random and don’t intend to use either man as Pete or his partner.

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