Waiting for a Star to Fall

Last night I logged only four hours of fitful sleep, which is to say I was already suffering enough without Boy Meets Girl’s “Waiting for a Star to Fall” unexpectedly joining the rotation of my overnight unconscious jukebox. A couple weeks ago I heard it at the pharmacy while awaiting my flu shot and COVID booster, and at first I was almost startled — I’d forgotten it existed. Then I was annoyed as I remembered why.

It was a song my ex used to tease me with and a long time ago, when our breakup was still new, I (anonymously) shouted something into the Internet void that made a joking, lovelorn reference to its lyrics. What I hadn’t anticipated were supportive replies sent by daffy-sounding strangers who felt moved to express both their deep and abiding love of “Waiting for a Star to Fall” and their sincerest wishes that — in the words of the song — a star would fall and “carry [her] heart into my arms.” It was a thought that made me bitterly laugh for about 150 reasons.

It was all so dumb, and so representative of the unbearable tweeness of the city to which she’d impetuously fled, and to this day I’m convinced I could write an Amazon Prime original movie in which a bunch of crazy cat ladies with failing bakeries and Etsy storefronts and chronic fatigue syndrome band together in a zany attempt to reunite a young lesbian couple after reading about their split online and being touched by a goddamn “Waiting for a Star to Fall” reference. I’ll call it Mutual Aid Society and the cat ladies could be played by Allison Janney and Paula Pell (who find a love of their own in the process), among others.

Anyway, that’s all I have for you tonight. I’m running on fumes but wanted to post something before trying my luck again with sleep. With a little help from the sweet nectar of Target’s ZzzQuil ripoff, hopefully I’ll make it through the early-morning hours without repeatedly waking up to clenched fists and limbs flexed at odd, severe angles… or, more painfully, to the dulcet tones of Boy Meets Girl.

11/9 UPDATE: When I entered our bedroom last night, Crankenstein trolled me by queuing up “Waiting for a Star to Fall” on her phone. But its chorus left me alone overnight and I collected over five hours of sleep altogether, an acceptable outcome.

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