When a friend heard that Crankenstein and I were sick, she mentioned that she and her wife have been watching Eight is Enough on Tubi. Like Family (also on Tubi), which counted Kristy ‘Buddy’ McNichol and Meredith Baxter among its cast, Enough — a dramedy about the Bradfords, a family with eight children — is remembered fondly by gay viewers who grew up in the ’70s and swear to this day that Lani O’Grady’s character, Mary, was an obvious lesbian.*
Today, once tennis was over and Crankenstein was napping, I watched its pilot and agree about O’Grady, the only Bradford daughter I found interesting. Mostly I’ll remember it for the line “One day they’re on the potty, the next day they’re smoking pot,” and for a conversation Mary has with her mom (Diana Hyland), who admits “about half” of the brood she shares with her newspaperman husband (Dick Van Patten) were accidental pregnancies.
As one of four, I’m used to assumptions that my parents had at least one ‘oops’ baby along the way, but the sad truth is that our family was premeditated, and more casualties probably would’ve been claimed had I been healthier as a tot or my father better compensated. The crime metaphor’s a joke, of course, but the heart of it is true: my parents wanted a large family and as an adult I wouldn’t have minded one, either, but only if time and money (but especially time) permitted.
In recent years, without my prompting — probably because of memes and pop psychology articles she’s encountered on social media — my mom has apologized for making me shoulder so much of the childcare burden for the youngest two when she was busy with work and Felix. And it sounded sincere, even if part of her regret was possibly caused by injured feelings after my sisters told her they sometimes felt like I was their mom.
Whether Eight is Enough is realistic enough to depict all the ways in which older kids, particularly daughters, get roped into being mini-parents, I can’t say after only one episode. But it felt timely for something that premiered 47 years ago, because lately it’s been hard not to think “There were too many kids and not enough parents” when I reflect on the long shadows my parents’ laziest decisions cast on the present. Even today, I might argue, there are too many kids — six, including my parents.
Anyway, I’m not currently capable of deep thought, between the coughing and congestion and the chills that come and go. Last night my fever rose after taking Tylenol, but cough syrup helped me sleep. I’m eligible for Paxlovid but declined it; my arthritis and IBD medications are much milder by immunosuppressant standards than what you’d take for cancer treatment or organ transplant, so it seemed a bit needlessly dramatic.**
Tonight Crankenstein and I will relax with some Reba or King of the Hill, go to bed early (after changing sheets that feel disgusting following several days of illness), and with any luck we’ll be on the mend tomorrow. Her hacking improved a bit more today. Other than that she’s mostly just tired and irritated about her inability to taste or smell, symptoms that arrived for me this afternoon.
* Any Betty Buckley opinions — she was another draw for gay Eight is Enough viewers — will have to wait because she didn’t join the show until its second season, following Hyland’s death.
** My doctor said the Paxlovid rebound effect is real, which wasn’t an attractive prospect with so many upcoming appointments that I’d like to get out of the way. Immunosuppressants are my only risk factor: without these pesky diseases, I’m the picture of health.