She Was a Fast Machine

Though I’m sure you’re all dying to hear about the trekking poles that finally arrived today (and whether I’ve managed to impale myself on one yet), there is nothing to report — nothing, that is, other than I’m sick of having to prise open recalcitrant objects with undexterous hands. It started a couple years ago […]

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Hodgepodge

This was a frustrating day physically but a rewarding one on another front, when a cranky autistic toddler who dislikes almost everyone unexpectedly befriended me. Younger kids don’t always know what to make of me, which I suspect is mostly a byproduct of my (old) monotone and (newish) hypomimia; they prefer more excitement and enthusiasm

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The Pajama(less) Game

“What did you think of the ENT?” Crankenstein asked when she called on her lunch break. “He was nice, I guess, but it seemed like he might be a jerk,” I replied. There was nothing in particular I could point to — he’d been perfectly professional and I respected the subtle ways he assisted the

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Change of Plans

I’d just taken a seat in the PT’s waiting room when my phone buzzed: “Unknown Caller,” the screen read, and I sent it to voicemail. The garbled transcript said to please to call the ENT’s office. My guess was there’d been a waitlist snafu, since my August appointment had recently been moved up to the

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In the Navy

Today I took my new label maker for a spin and it was an experience beyond anything I could’ve imagined in the early ’90s, when my dweeby hand-cranked red Dymo I.D. was the height of organizational glamour and sophistication. “Make me one!” Crankenstein requested as I clicked through dazzling options for adjusting the font, size

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Exile on Lame Street

If I were in a better mood, I might spend the evening ranting about my deep and total hatred of Hillbilly Elegy — a book whose popularity offended me more than any bestseller in recent memory — and its odious author, J.D. Vance. But tonight I’m still congested, still can’t taste or smell, and to

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The Grass is Greener

Carlos Alcaraz successfully defended his Wimbledon title today, just five weeks after winning Roland-Garros and barely two months after turning 21. Last year’s victory over Novak Djokovic was an almost five-hour endurance test; today’s 6-2, 6-2, 7–6 (4) affair was a drubbing until Alcaraz anxiously squandered triple championship points at 5-4, giving Djokovic the chance

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