It’s been three weeks since I last mentioned Eight is Enough, but I haven’t abandoned the Bradfords: no, I’m still trapped in its Auntie V-less third season, which never seems to end. This evening I finished episode 19, with nine more still to go. Twenty-eight 50-minute episodes in a single season is impressive by any standard (minus the occasional clip show or talent show filler), and the neat thing about Eight is Enough is that it featured enough characters to mostly sustain that momentum. Even when a main plot misses the mark, there’s usually a subplot or two that entertains.*
“Whether Eight is Enough is realistic enough to depict all the ways in which older kids, particularly daughters, get roped into being mini-parents, I can’t say after only one episode,” I wrote after watching its pilot. So far, the answer has been a resounding yes: the older siblings handle more day-to-day parenting than Tom and Abby themselves. A modern-day remake would launch a thousand think pieces about whether that’s fair to the Bradford spawn, but I suspect many would miss an important point: there’s nothing inherently wrong with anyone, even teenagers, devoting time and emotional resources to others.
The Internet has inculcated too many Zoomers and Millennials with a misguided sense of social responsibility. (I’m comfortable saying this because I’m a Millennial myself, despite sounding like Andy Rooney.) They’re quick to tweet their solidarity with marginalized groups but will just as briskly reject any commitments, online or off, that might demand more of them than emoji selection or childish “OK boomer” retorts. Their deep skepticism of labor now extends to both physical and emotional engagement: work’s a scam in any form, including personal relationships.** Eight is Enough would scare some Zoomers more than a Scream movie.
When the oldest Bradford kids aren’t at work or school — all are expected to choose one or both — they’re doing chores, making dinner, and handwashing the dishes. They attempt, not always successfully, to solve problems big and small without involving their parents, and fixing their mistakes starts with taking personal responsibility for them. They’re frequently too greedy or obstinate for their own good, and the guilt or shame they subsequently feel (which is sometimes encouraged by their family) motivates them to make better choices in the future. Their initial resistance to humility or compromise usually gives way to acceptance, because no one person is more important than the others.
With everything that’s currently happening in my family, I’ve generally found this to be the TV equivalent of comfort food. And I’m grateful to enjoy it on a 47-year delay with help from a very modern convenience: Tubi’s ‘skip intro’ button allows you to miss most of the godawful theme song that cast member Grant Goodeve warbled from season three onward.
* An exception to that is the third season’s “Alone at Last,” about Tom and Abby’s struggle to physically connect. It’s impossible to believe that a father of eight hasn’t perfected the art of the quickie. Seven of his eight kids were born in rapid succession — if he found time for romance with toddlers underfoot and babies screaming from their cribs, surely he can manage with five out of high school and everyone but Nicholas old enough to drive.
** My sister Tom is an example of this sort of person. She’s a capitalist and monogamist by nature, but wants the spoils without the work. This leads her to adopt collectivist positions that would never actually work for her in practice.