Come and Knock on Our Door*

Muriel isn’t the first animal that greets you when you step onto our porch: Gerard’s an antique that’s supposedly been with the house for as long as it has existed (meaning he’s close to 100 years old). He’s handsomer than modern knockoffs and looks perfect on our door, an arched monstrosity that’s 3.5″ thick and carved with geometric details that were typical of the Art Deco era.

I didn’t expect to find a mini-Gerard for my house replica project, but take a look at this:

There are obvious differences, but it’s close enough to have thrilled me anyway. Something I’m still unable to locate are decent reproductions of these old urn planters (where roses spring to life once they feel like it), so I decided to buy blank slates and try my own luck:

First I dabbed them lightly with an off-white, then mixed a gray that’s too metallic:

I’ll continue experimenting until I get it close enough to acceptable, then stipple a bit of lichen in a few spots. Trying to create realistic-looking cracks and chips is above my pay-grade for now.

In cottage news, this evening I laid the flooring for both the main level and loft. A magnetic jig secured the painted boards as I glued my planks, which reduced (without eliminating) the wacky hijinks my left hand could create. It’s a device that would be easy to create yourself if you’re handy, but I paid $20-something for mine during a Micro-Mark sale.

When I look at that second photo, all I see is a mistake I made with a single plank; I’ll correct it with an awl before starting the staining process this weekend.** For now, as the glue dries, the boards are under book stacks on my coffee table.

There’s wallpaper under the Bob Mackie tome (it needs flattening); one floor piece is beneath Martha Stewart’s enormous Homemaking Handbook and the other is topped by a trio of Bette Davis books: Charles Higham’s Bette and Whitney Stine’s I’d Love to Kiss You… and Mother Goddam, selected because it’s easy to imagine Davis stepping into the cottage once it’s done and grumbling “What a dump!” a la Beyond the Forest.

Apologies if this is boring; I might move the hobby posts elsewhere once the cottage is finished.

* Two sitcom theme song post titles in a row is a coincidence; I assure you that “Lady Godiva was a Freedom Rider” and “Keep Manhattan, Just Give Me That Countryside” aren’t forthcoming.

** Crankenstein, who was skeptical of this at first, now finds some of it interesting, particularly the attention paid to details she’d overlook. “You’re doing all this work to parts of the house that will be completely covered up,” she said yesterday, and probably instantly regretted it as I explained why adherence to a painted surface is better for the integrity of the wallpaper. As she’s seen bits of some diorama YouTube videos I’ve watched and read more about miniatures and models, she’s come to realize the precision and patience it requires make it Autism Central, which further amuses her.

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