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It was still dark outside when Crankenstein and I set off this morning for an unfamiliar hospital complex. I’d intended to go by myself but she wanted to come along, worried that memories of a tortured childhood history with NG tubes might resurface as a catheter was snaked down my throat. It was unnecessary, I […]

It turns out a Trump debate can amuse me after all, as I learned after being sent a link to this tweet. Before anyone clicks it, I should caution you’ll want your sound on — but not turned up too loud. You may also have to unmute the tweet itself. It’s uncanny, this clip of

Zero naps were taken today, mostly because I stayed away from the couch. An early-morning walk was followed by speech therapy, and then I stood while working at my computer, Muriel anchored at my feet to create a dangerous obstacle course. By the time Crankenstein got home I’d finished some housework and was yanking more

A few weeks ago, the neurologist said to start drinking coffee and see if it keeps me awake. You wouldn’t think I need any help with that when I’m usually up half the night already, but all that wakefulness is part of the problem. For the past couple months, I’ve been losing the battle with

Merle the Pearl is officially a Bradford! In only his third appearance on Eight is Enough, the minor league pitcher and major league heartthrob tied the knot with Susan so hastily that we can only assume he was saving himself for marriage.* (The official reason was that mere girlfriends aren’t allowed to travel with the

At the last stoplight as we neared the medical campus, I asked my driver a question. Alexander was a big bear of a man in gray slacks and a navy polo shirt, with a messy salt and pepper beard too short to be considered unkempt. It matched his moderately unruly hair, which was bushy in

My expectations for September are low: tomorrow marks the start of an intensive four-week speech therapy course; PT continues; I’ll return to the dentist’s chair for installation of a permanent crown; and the DDS is sending me for exams to confirm I’m as decrepit as my wife and doctors say. In anticipation of all the

Walking home from the dentist’s office mid-morning, a temporary crown atop my molar, I considered listening to a library audiobook but opened iTunes instead. The Bryan Ferry album that played during my last stroll around the neighborhood automatically appeared, so I hit play on “Slave to Love” and smiled (to the extent that’s possible with

However she ultimately arrives at her decision, the woman handling my SSDI reconsideration is at least pretending to give it more thought than the first guy. Not long after Crankenstein submitted her questionnaire about my symptoms and our life together, I received an email from my lawyer: “You’ve been scheduled for consultative exams. It’s important

Good news, everyone: I’m not pregnant! During yesterday’s gripefest about urine sample requests, I forgot to clarify the obvious: we aren’t asked to do it for sport, it’s to establish we aren’t pregnant prior to sedation and surgery.* (Scopes are technically considered surgical procedures even though no one’s going to say “I had surgery” about