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Fiddle-Faddle

In the words of either Lady Gaga or Deanna Durbin — it’s so easy to get them confused — I’m a free bitch, baby. LSVT is over, done, finito, and the SLP said it might be years before I need a formal refresher if I’m diligent about continuing my speech and respiratory exercises. Crankenstein brought

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The Crocodile Hunter

Consultative exams are ordered by DDS adjudicators when they want to know more about your condition and the limitations it causes. Often this is because your disability application or medical records were incomplete, outdated, or contained conflicting information. There’s nothing nefarious about a CE request, despite conspiracy theories to the contrary; it’s an opportunity to

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Do You Realize??

“It seems fitting that you view Eight is Enough as a form of erotica,” Best Friend recently joked after I mentioned that Nancy, Dianne Kay’s character, attracted saucier subplots — and occasionally wardrobes — in season three. We moved on to other topics and a week later, he was gone. As you probably deduced from

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Walking on Sunshine

“I’m optimistic that tomorrow will bring a welcome opportunity to move past the gloom and grievances of the last couple days and write something fun,” I wrote yesterday. Famous last words. This morning I learned that Best Friend passed away.* I’ll be back tomorrow but don’t know what to say right now other than I

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Stand by Your Manometry

The manometry results are in and — here I’ll pause to scream silently into the void — further evaluation is recommended. No specific cause of my swallowing issues was identified but only half of the recorded swallows were considered intact; the rest were marked failed, ineffective or fragmented, and the velocity of my esophageal motility

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Down the Hatch

It was still dark outside when Crankenstein and I set off this morning for an unfamiliar hospital complex. I’d intended to go by myself but she wanted to come along, worried that memories of a tortured childhood history with NG tubes might resurface as a catheter was snaked down my throat. It was unnecessary, I

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The Dog Days of Summer

Zero naps were taken today, mostly because I stayed away from the couch. An early-morning walk was followed by speech therapy, and then I stood while working at my computer, Muriel anchored at my feet to create a dangerous obstacle course. By the time Crankenstein got home I’d finished some housework and was yanking more

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